“Back in my heyday, I would kill Michael Jordan one-on-one”
– LaVar “Father to LaMelo, LiAngelo and Lonzo Ball” Ball #8

I don’t know if it’s just me but I’m starting to think LaVar Ball is actually full of shit and couldn’t beat Michael Jordan one-on-one. I don’t he could even beat Michael Jordan’s son one-on-one. There may not be one person alive LaVar Ball could beat one-on-one. This guy stinks.

He’s top 5 worst basketball players of all time, easily. He can’t shoot. He can’t dribble. He can’t rebound. He can’t play defense.  He literally can’t do anything basketball related besides wear the right colored jersey.

This right here is the best basketball play LaVar has ever almost completed, and the most LaVar Ball play of all-time.

LaVar Ball

A pass to self of the glass after picking up a steal? Ohhhh man he reminds me of old Tracy McGrady. No no no, not that old Tracy McGrady.


Actual old Tracy McGrady.


And even comparing LaVar to a washed NBA player who barely completed a successful layup is generous because TMac right now would LaVar BUCKETS. Shit I’d give LaVar buckets and I’m 5’10”, about 165lbs and white. That’s how bad LaVar is at Ball.

I’d play so fundamentally sound too it wouldn’t even be funny. Following my shot on misses. Shuffling my feet on defense. Taking charges in the lane. Man I’d make LaVar quit within the first 5 minutes of action. He’d be so flustered he may cry.